So is Your Mom
by JessicaIsTheTRUESlytherin
Summary: We all know Patricia and Jerome argue constantly, but have you ever wondered what about? It's pretty cute and in character I guess. DIALOGUE-ONLY! DON'T LIKE? DON'T READ! Slight Jara, Slight Patricia/OC, MAINLY PATROME!


AN: THIS IS A DIALOGUE-ONLY STORY! IF FLAMERS DO NOT LIKE, FLAMERS SHOULD NOT READ! So, since I've been writing quite a few Jara drafts, I thought I might post this. It was so much fun to write. By the way, I have NOTHING against GLTB (Or something like that.) It's just that I was trying to portray Patricia. Oh yeah, by the way, they go back and forth.

_Jerome. _Patricia.

_"Patricia?"_

"What, Jerome?"

_"Will you stop blasting Linkin Park?"_

"Why?"

_"If I listen to New Divide one more time, I might kill somebody."_

"Okay. This effects me how?"

_"Just stop."_

"That's not what your boyfriend said."

_"I don't have a boyfriend, I'm not homo. But your mom sure is."_

"Haha, very funny. Idiot."

_"I may be an idiot, but I'm the coolest idiot you'll ever get to meet."_

"Not to mention oh-so-modest."

_"Sorry Trix, but that was a fail comeback."_

"You know what was a fail? Your dads condom."

_"Eh. Better. But you know what won't get any better?"_

"The priceless look on your face when Mara rejects you?"

_"I was going to say Linkin Park, actually."_

"Oh yeah? If my songs are so bad, what music do you listen to?"

_"Bruno Mars is cool."_

"Your joking right?"

_"Uh, no?"_

"Homo."

_"What do you have against homos? They're pretty cool."_

"So you admit to it? Your gay?"

_"Ugh! Your a hopeless case."_

"We found love in a hopeless place."

_"Only a mother would love a face like yours."_

"It's a song, dumbass. It rhymed, so It had to be said."

_"Had?"_

"Had."

_"Well okay then, weirdo."_

"..."

_"Hey Trixie."_

"..."

_"Trixie?"_

"..."

_"YO TRIXIE!"_

"What do you want from me?"

_"Sorry."_

"Uh why?"

_"Because you were crying in your emo corner when I called you weird."_

"Jerome?"

_"Yes?"_

"Go to hell."

"_I'll go to hell, when it freezes over."_

"Harry Potter?"

_"Harry Potter is for geeky, nerd-twerps."_

"So Mara Jaffray is a geeky, nerd-twerp.?"

_"I love Harry Potter."_

"You'd change yourself for her?"

_"Yeah."_

"That's retarded."

_"You're face is retarded."_

"Thank you, I love it when perverts call me retarded."

_"Thank you, I love it when goths are sarcastic."_

"I'm sensing deja vu."

_"I'm not a pervert. I'm a handsome young man with chick magnet powers."_

"Okay...?"

_"So Mara likes Harry Potter?"_

"Gosh, you really can't get over her can you?"

_"Why don't you like talking about her?"_

"Because, if she gets hurt, I'll murder you."

_"I can say the same to you. How may times have you made Amber cry?"_

"Veinte-dos."

_"What is that, French?"_

"Yep. Idiot."

_"You're stubborn."_

"You're an arse."

_"You want my arse."_

"Do I? I haven't noticed."

_"You do."_

"Yes, because pale, skinny arses are attractive."

_"You are really sarcastic."_

"No shit, Sherlock."

_"Maybe I should kiss you."_

"What? So I can add to your list of girls you've kissed?"

_"Yeah, pretty much."_

"No."

_"Please?"_

"Okay!"

_"Really?"_

"Nope"

_"Didn't think so."_

"Good."

_"Soo..."_

* * *

><p>"JEROME CLARKE!"<p>

_"Yes...?"_

"You kissed me!"

_"Way to state the obvious."_

"I told you not to!"

_"Well, Jerome Clarke does not follow the rules."_

"Jerome AGNUS Clarke."

_"How do you know my middle name?"_

"I dig in files."

_"Patricia ALYCE Williamson."_

"Okay? Whats so bad about my middle name?"

_"Ever read Twilight?"_

"Bite me"

_"Will do."_

"Pervert."

_"Wow. Are you seriously listening to Evanscence? **My Immortal** is old."_

"So is your mother, but you still listen to her."

_"Good one."_

"Thanks."

"..."

"..."

_"Eddie's cute huh?"_

"Homo."

_"No! I mean you like him."_

"Eh, he's cute, but not my type."

_"What's your type?"_

"Why do you want to know?"

_"So, I can get you a beau."_

"HA! Like you did, Alfie?"

"_Hey! Alfie and Amber are now happily in a relationship."_

"Not because of you."

_"Well who stole Amber's dress?"_

"..."

_"Who knew that Alfie would return it to her?"_

"..."

_"Who worked his butt off for his mate, so he didn't have a date to prom?"_

"Okay! Okay! You helped him. Are you happy now?"

_"Ecstatic. Bloody ecstatic."_

"Do you really wanna know my type?"

_"I can guess."_

"Like what?"

_"Blonde, tall, icy blue eyes?"_

"Yep."

_"You know Trixie, you don't have to hide your feelings."_

"Um, what do you mean?"

_"Just because I like Mara, doesn't mean we can't be friends with benefits."_

"You're disgusting, and besides, I like Hunter Braucci."

"_Ew. Him?"_

"What's wrong with him?"

_"He's not blonde, tall, or icy blue eyed!"_

"Yeah? So? He has shaggy black hair, average height, and orbs of ebony."

_"You make him sound attractive."_

"Because he is."

_"You make me sick."_

"What the hell! I'm not the perv!"

_"I am NOT a perv!"_

"Jerome, if I got a penny for every time you looked down my shirt, I'd be rich."

_"So? I'm being a guy!"_

"Ugh! Don't you care what people think of you?"

_"Don't you?"_

"What the hell do you mean?"

"_You're damn emo!"_

"I am not emo! I don't cry myself to sleep, or cut, or worship the devil!"

_"Those are stereotypes of an emo!"_

"Atleast I don't 'do' every girl I see!"

_"I haven't done you!_"

"Because I haven't let you!"

"_No, because you're ugly as hell!"_

"Excuse me?"

_"You, Patricia Williamson, are as ugly as hell!"_

"I hate you!"

_"I hate you more!"_

"I doubt it, if I had a rifle, I'd bash your head with it!"

_"Why not just shoot?"_

"Because bashing will cause more pain!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

_"Why Hunter?"_

"Is this really what this is about?"

_"Of course not!"_

"You're jealous of Hunter!"

_"Am not!"_

"Are too!"

_"Am not!"_

"Are too!"

_"Am not!"_

"Are too!"

_"Okay! What if I am?"_

"Then I won't bash your head in with a rifle."

_"Fine! I'm jealous! I'm jealous that Hunter caught your eye! After me waiting!"_

"Waiting?"

_"Yes! I like you okay? You're different!"_

"Thanks..."

_"Thanks? That's all I get?"_

"..."

"..."

"I like you too..."

_"Thanks. So what now?"_

"So is your mom."

_"What?"_

**HAHAH! PATRICIA IS SUCH A TURN OFF. So, please review. I will not except comments about my writing style. Also, I like dialogue-only stories, so I wrote one. If you don't, DON'T READ IT!**

**xx  
>Jessica <strong>


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